The Hardest Part of Faith
Jesus said at Gethsemane, “My soul is exceeding sorrowful, even to death” (Matthew 26:38). Can you imagine the Son of God enduring a night of confusion? Didn’t he know he was about to claim all victory over hell and death? Didn’t he have an innate sense of guidance and destiny, knowing the Father was with him?
It has been said by generations of Christians that the hardest part of faith is the last half hour. I want to add a word here that the night of confusion often comes just before the victory, right before the darkness breaks and light begins to dawn.
Just before the power of Satan is broken, you will face a devastating night of confusion. In that hour, it will seem to you as if all guidance is gone and purpose has disappeared. The sense of God’s Spirit you once relied on will seem to have evaporated. You can agree with Job when he said, “If the Lord is at work, I cannot perceive it” (see Job 23:8).
Many in Christ’s Body face moral issues similar to David’s. In their night of confusion they wonder, “God, why me? My heart was searching after you when my sin overwhelmed me. My soul is plagued by it all. I don’t understand.”
Don’t think for a moment that someone who has been used mightily by God has all the answers. I know what it is like to face that divine silence in a night of confusion. I know what it feels like to walk through a season of turmoil and bewilderment, with no apparent guidance. All my previous patterns of direction and discernment were useless. I simply could not see my way and I was reduced to this cry: “Lord, what has happened? I don’t know which way to go.”
We all will face that night. Yet, thank God, it is a season that will pass. The Lord desires to make our path clear. He has promised, “I will turn to you in tender loving mercies.” And so he will do with us, his children, extending to us his mercy in our times of isolation.