What is well-being? Can it be achieved by simply taking care of oneself? Not entirely. True well-being includes relational love, intimacy and connection with people. You cannot have well-being on your own.
There are more than fifty Bible verses that talk about loving and cherishing and caring for one another. Give to one another. Put others above yourself. The wounded soul that hasn’t torn down its barriers can’t effectively do that. Larry Crabb said that two unhealthy people in a marriage are like two ticks with no dog. They are sucking the life out of each other; there's no source of life. They desperately need one another, but neither has anything to give.
Well-being begins with us saying, "Holy Spirit, this drive in me for approval from others isn’t love. It's the opposite of love. Nourish me from within and dissolve the barriers that I’ve put up. Enlarge my heart.”
In America, we have an individualistic mentality that says, "I'll fix myself, spirit, soul and body! I’ll go to the gym, eat well, read inspirational books and will myself to success.” There's good in that, but it isn’t sufficient. We have a God-shaped hole in our hearts, but there is also a people-shaped hole in our hearts. There is a classic book written in the 1600s titled The Practice of the Presence of God. I would like to write a book called “Practicing the Presence of People.” Both the soul and the body need people around them. You have to change to have well-being in community, but you need community to change.
The prophet Jonah was a loner, and there’s an important lesson in his story that is often overlooked. He spent a lot of time running from God and distancing himself from other people, and the impact of his ministry was sorely affected by all that isolation. Just like Jonah, when we keep people at arm’s length, our ministry can be sorely affected as well. Our faith is lived out in community; people are not impacted unless they're loved.
Matthew 6:33 says, “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” Do you want true well-being? Seek him first. Practice the presence of God, then seek out good relationships with other people. This is good, healthy soul-care.