Disappointment with God is a topic dear to my heart. Growing up in a Christian home, I heard many stories about answered prayers. We heard of desperate people calling out to God when it seemed there was no hope. We saw his miraculous healing, deliverance and provision.
Over the years, my faith matured. Our family had experienced hardship, so I understood that prayers aren’t always answered. However, I thought that if I really wanted something or if it was important enough, God would come through for me. He would deliver the goods.
As humans, our view of life is limited. God sees us as eternal souls, and he is moving outside of time and space to accomplish his will in our lives. All we can see is “I want this. I need that right now.” This was my struggle for many years. It’s like I asked God for something, and it didn’t happen, and I thought, “This is not a hard thing for you!” He answered other people’s prayers, so why couldn’t he do this thing for me? I thought there was something wrong with me. There I was, disappointed with both God and myself.
The children of Israel, groaning under slavery in Pharoah’s brutal regime, cried out to God for deliverance. He said, “I’ve heard you, and I’ve answered.” I can only imagine their frustration and disappointment at the slowness of Moses’ arrival. “No, you don’t understand, God. We need help now.” Their faith in their future as God’s chosen people faded, and they lost heart. They didn’t see the faith in God that they were going to need in the decades ahead.
Here is what I remind myself when I begin to shrink into my unbelief: God is working on my inner man during the times of silence. He is changing each of us on the inside, developing patience, endurance, and spiritual muscles. He’s drawing us close and revealing his character. “This is where your focus needs to be right now. Look to me. I am on your side. I’ll get you through this, and you will be stronger.”
When we dwell on disappointment, we miss out on the faith, strength and intimacy with God that adversity brings. “So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day” (2 Corinthians 4:16, ESV).