Devotions

One night after preaching, I couldn’t sleep. A very strange feeling came over me. I’d start to drift off and suddenly feel as if I were falling off the end of the bed even though I wasn’t. I returned home to my family and went out to play with my church hockey team. I loved playing hockey, but all of a sudden I couldn’t catch my breath. I was a very fit thirty-seven-year-old man, so this was very strange for me.

When I went into church on Sunday to preach, my head felt as if it were splitting open. I was still short of breath, and I had no energy. Sunday after Sunday, the massive headaches continued. It took me a long time to realize that I was having a physical breakdown.

When I felt I couldn’t take it anymore, I went out onto a country road and threw my head back. “Is this how you reward those who serve you?” I screamed. I railed against the Lord until it was all out. If God had said to me in that moment, “I’m going to turn you to ashes,” I would have said, “Go ahead.”

Instead, I heard God say softly, “I love you.”

That wasn’t what I expected. “What do you want me to do?” I exhaled.

“Carter,” the Lord said to me, “I only want you to do what I ask you to do. You’ve done many, many things that I didn’t ask you to do.”

It was as if a thirteen-year burden was lifted from my shoulders. I recall one man in our church who was up and down, up and down, sober, drunk, sober, drunk. I used to grab him by the shirt and get in his face, saying, “I stopped drinking; you can stop drinking.” He would cry that he couldn’t do it, and I would insist that he could. About three weeks after God set me free from my own zealousness, though, that man came up to me and said, “Pastor, I feel so much hope in your preaching now.” He was sensing that I had turned my striving over to God.

The psalmist’s words had come true for me: “The Lord is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him” (Psalm 28:7, ESV).

_{Carter Conlon joined the pastoral staff of Times Square Church in 1994 and was appointed Senior Pastor in 2001. In May of 2020 he transitioned into a continuing role as General Overseer of Times Square Church, Inc.}

“That Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height – to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God” (Ephesians 3:17-19, NKJV).

Rooted and grounded here means “to build under you a deep and stable foundation of knowing and understanding the love of God to you.” The knowledge of God’s love for you is the foundational truth upon which all others truths must be built!

For example, a holy fear of God is not a dread that he is ready to strike you down if you are caught in some little fault. Rather, it is the dread of his holiness against rebellion and of what he does to those who love darkness rather than light.

Christians who live in guilt, fear and condemnation are not “rooted and grounded” in the love of God. Our heavenly Father sent his Son to die for our sins and weaknesses. Without fully knowing and fully understanding that kind of love to you, you will never have a stable or permanent foundation.

The Greek word for ‘comprehend’ in verse 18 suggests “to eagerly seize or lay hold of.” The apostle Paul means for you to seize this truth and make it the foundation of your Christian life. Put your spiritual hands out and say, “I am going to lay hold of this!”

Perhaps you are assaulted by a temptation you can’t seem to shake. Maybe you carry a sense of never measuring up, of unworthiness, a fear that the devil is going to trip you up and you will fail God.

This is the day for you to wake up to God’s love for you. I pray as you read this that something will strike deep in your heart and you can say, “That’s me and I don’t want to live this way!” I pray that you will get hold of this truth and that it will open your eyes and help you enter a whole new realm of joy and peace in your daily walk with him.

If you want direction, if you think you’re ready to do what he asks, then let me ask you an important question. Are you ready for an unsettling word, a mission of hardship and rejection, a life of faith with no guaranteed comforts except those of the Holy Spirit?

That is exactly what happened to Isaiah! The prophet volunteered, “Send me, Lord!”, and God sent him on a hard, difficult mission.

“And he said...’Make the heart of this people dull, and their ears heavy, and shut their eyes; lest they see with their eyes, and hear with their ears, and understand with their heart, and return and be healed’” (Isaiah 6:9-10, NKJV).

The word Isaiah heard was not flattering. On the contrary, it would make him hated, unpopular. The Lord told him, “Go, harden those who refuse to hear me speak. Close their eyes and ears; finish the hardening of their hearts!”

If you want to know God’s voice, you must be willing to hear everything he says. God will never say, “Go!” until he first asks, “Who will go?” He comes to you, asking, “Are you willing to do anything I tell you and do it my way? Are you willing to lay down your life?”

When I prayed for direction years ago, the Lord told me clearly, “Go back to New York.” That was a most uncomfortable word for me. I had been ready to retire. I had planned to write books and preach at selected places. I thought, “Lord, I’ve already spent my best years there. Give me a break!”

Yes, we want to hear the voice of God, but we want to hear it comfortably. We don’t want it to shake us. However, why should God give us his voice of direction if he is not sure we will obey him?

Abraham learned to hear God’s voice by first obeying what he heard, at the time he heard it. God’s word to him was to sacrifice his son, Isaac (see Genesis 22:2). Abraham acted on that word and his obedience became a sweet-smelling aroma that touched the whole world: “In your seed all the nations of the earth shall be blessed, because you have obeyed my voice” (Genesis 22:18).

Peter warns us believers living in the last days that Satan will come to them with a loud voice, trying to bring fear. “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour” (1 Peter 5:8, NKJV).

Here is my point: If Satan is making his voice known in these last days, showing his power to a world full of lost people, how much more important is it for God’s people to know their heavenly father’s voice? Do you think the Lord would sit by as Satan roars at the world and yet remain silent? Never! Isaiah said, “The Lord will cause his glorious voice to be heard” (Isaiah 30:30).

Since the time of Adam and Eve, God has been speaking to man. “And they heard the sound of the Lord God” (Genesis 3:8). Adam said, “I heard your voice in the garden” (Genesis 3:10).

From Genesis through to the end of the New Testament, God made his voice known to his people. In the books of the prophets, we see the phrase “And God said . . .” repeated time after time. Through prophets like Isaiah and Jeremiah and Joel, God’s voice was known and understood.

Jesus confirmed this in the New Testament, using the example of the good shepherd. “To him the doorkeeper opens, and the sheep hear his voice; and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. And when he brings out his own sheep, he goes before them; and the sheep follow him, for they know his voice” (John 10:3-4).

Adam hid from God’s voice because of the guilt and shame of his sin. That is exactly where many of God’s people are today, hiding and afraid to hear God speak! If you want to hear God’s voice, you must be ready to have your soul purged and cleansed. “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).

The God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob
Is your God
To deliver and strengthen you
As he did your fathers—
To help you,
Uphold you,
Keep you,
Fear not: be not dismayed.
They who do know him as their God
Shall do exploits
And become strong.
He will still your enemies and avengers.
He will make his strength perfect
In your weakness,
For in his hand is all power and might
To do for you exceedingly above all
You could ask or think.
To you he speaks,
“I am with you;
I am your God;
I will help you.”

Here are some verses for you to dwell on as you consider the nature of your heavenly Father. “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand” (Isaiah 41:10, NKJV).

“You drew near on the day I called on you, and said, ‘Do not fear!’ O Lord, you have pleaded the case for my soul; you have redeemed my life” (Lamentations 3:57-58).

“Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble, and he delivered them out of their distresses” (Psalm 107:6).

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go” (Joshua 1:9).

“And he said, ‘The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer’” (2 Samuel 22:2).

“O Lord, you have pleaded the case for my soul; you have redeemed my life” (Lamentations 3:58).

“And the Lord will deliver me from every evil work and preserve me for his heavenly kingdom. To him be glory forever and ever. Amen!” (2 Timothy 4:18).

“The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears, and delivers them out of all their troubles” (Psalm 34:17).

”Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, he is the one who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you” (Deuteronomy 31:6).