Devotions

Scripture solemnly commands us, “Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do” (Colossians 3:12-13, NKJV).

Bearing with someone and forgiving them are two different issues. Bearing with someone, or forbearing, means ceasing from all acts and thoughts of revenge. It says, in other words, “Don’t take matters into your own hands. Instead, endure the hurt. Lay the matter down and leave it alone.”

We are given a powerful example of this admonition in David’s life. He was in a vengeful rage toward a wicked man named Nabal because Nabal refused to help him when he needed help. David swore revenge, but he obeyed God’s counsel, “Do not avenge yourself… Let the Lord fight your battle.” That situation was resolved in a timely manner, and David praised God for his intervention (see 1 Samuel 25).

David had another opportunity for easy revenge when he found his pursuer, Saul, asleep in a cave where David himself was hiding. David’s men urged him, “This is God’s doing. He has delivered Saul into your hands. Kill him now! Avenge yourself.” However, David forbore, instead cutting off a piece of Saul’s garment so he could later prove he could have killed him. Such wise actions are God’s ways of putting our enemies to shame. In that case, Saul saw David’s proof and responded, “You are more righteous than I; for you have rewarded me with good, whereas I have rewarded you with evil” (1 Samuel 24:17).

Jesus never said the work of forgiving would be easy. When he commanded, “Love your enemies,” the Greek word for “love” does not mean “affection” but “moral understanding.” Simply put, forgiving someone isn’t a matter of stirring up human affection but making a moral decision to remove hatred from our hearts.

Forgiveness encompasses two other commandments that Christ gave his followers. “But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you” (Matthew 5:44). As one wise old preacher said, “If you can pray for your enemies, you can do all the rest.” I have certainly found this to be true in my own life.

In Genesis 2, God is talking to Adam, “You need somebody suitable to help you. I'm going to make somebody for you. It's going to be just right for you.” God brings all the animals and says, “Let's see what we can find.” So Adam’s naming all the animals. You have to wonder, though, why does God do this?

I believe Adam was being given a firm realization of his own longings. Many Christians are confused about this. We oftentimes think that any longing or passion that we have — because it seems to spring from our heart — is automatically evil. However, not every longing you have is inherently wrong.

In Genesis, we’re told no fit helper was found for Adam, so God takes a rib out of him and makes a woman. Adam sees her and says, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man” (Genesis 2:23, ESV). When scripture says ‘this at last,’ the Hebrew can be translated in several different ways; one would be along the lines of ‘finally’ or ‘it's about time.’ There's been this burning desire in Adam’s soul, and God has finally called him to satisfy this longing in his heart.

A legitimate longing is one that God brings to you. Longing for worship, community, building a life with a spouse, ministry. The moment that we begin to believe there is satisfaction beyond God, however, we run into trouble. Let's take money, for instance. Everybody needs money to pay your bills and have a place to live. Longing for money in order to successfully care for a family or live responsibly is not wrong. If we want money to buy ourselves security or other selfish reasons, it takes on an illegitimate form. Similarly, longing for a relationship is not wrong, unless you are forcing it through your own power. Longings can be corrupted, but they are often born out of something God spoken into our hearts.

You and I were intended to love people. This is not just a story of marriage. It goes broader than that. God created us to be with one another, to love one another, to have fellowship, to share our lives together with one another. Our selfish longings will build us up or separate us from others. Our God-given longings will always build on love for one another.

I love the story of this one woman who was on a plane en route from Los Angeles to Boston. They hit some really bad weather for almost the entire trip. Everybody on board was panicking because the plane was getting tossed around. Some people were starting to legitimately worry about whether they were actually going to reach Boston. Everyone was panicking except one senior citizen who knitted a sweater the entire transcontinental flight.

Finally, when the plane hit some clear air, someone went over to this old woman who had been knitting the whole time and said, "Why aren't you bothered? Why don't you seem to be fearful while all of us are worried about this plane and hoping we're going to make it to safety?"

She looked at him and said, "Young man, I am on my way to visit my son in Boston, but I used to have another son who was a Christian and died not too long ago. So before this day is done, one thing I know: I will see one of them, and it doesn't much matter which one of them I visit."

I've heard for many years that the Bible says, "Fear not" at least 365 times. That means it tells each one of us, “You don't have to fret about life” one time for every day of the year. I mean how awesome is that? In my many years of preaching, I have said this, but I hadn’t checked it out. Finally, I decided to investigate it for myself. Well, here's the real story. The Bible doesn't say “Fear not” 365 times. In fact, it's not even close. Based on the version that you may have, “Fear not” may be in the Bible less than a hundred times.

Here's the thing, though. It doesn't really matter.

If God said "Fear not" even just one time, then I don't need it 365 times. With God, once said is enough said. Our God is gracious, though, and he says it a few more times for us, and that should be an encouragement to every single one of us. We can trust him when he says, “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand” (Isaiah 41:10, ESV).

^{After pastoring an inner-city congregation in Detroit for thirty years, Pastor Tim served at Brooklyn Tabernacle in NYC for five years and pastored in Lafayette, Louisiana, for five years. He became Senior Pastor of Times Square Church in May of 2020.}

There is no getting around it. If I am to become the man and minister God has called me to be, my wife must be able to say honestly before heaven, hell and all the world, “My husband loves me with the love of Christ. He makes mistakes, but he’s growing more patient and understanding with me. He’s becoming more tender and caring. He prays with me. He isn’t a phony. He is what he preaches.”

If this isn’t my wife’s testimony — if she has a secret pain in her heart thinking, “My husband isn’t the man of God he pretends to be” — then everything in my life is in vain. All my preaching, accomplishments and charitable giving amount to nothing. I am a withering, useless branch that doesn’t bear the fruit of the Spirit. Jesus will cause others to see the death in me, and I’ll be worth little to his kingdom.

A while ago, a middle-aged pastor and his wife came to me brokenhearted and weeping. The minister told me through tears, “Brother Dave, I have sinned against God and my wife. I’ve committed adultery.” He shook with godly sorrow as he confessed his sin to me. Then his wife turned to me and said softly, “I’ve forgiven him. His repentance is real to me, and I’m confident the Lord will restore us.” With that, I was privileged to witness the beginning of a beautiful healing.

We can never make up for our past failures; but when there is true repentance, God promises to restore all that the cankerworm has destroyed.

I wish every couple who enjoys a Christ-centered marriage would rise up and tell the truth:  “It isn’t easy.” There is no other school as difficult and intense as the school of marriage, and you never graduate. God makes it clear to us that our life with our loved ones is the pinnacle, the very summit, of all our testings. If we get it wrong here, we’ll have it wrong everywhere else in our life.

Marriage is a day-by-day effort, in the same way the Christian life is. Like the way of the Cross, it means giving up your rights daily and turning to Christ’s promise, “I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without me you can do nothing” (John 15:5, NKJV).

To be Christ-like is to acknowledge Jesus in others. In my travels, I meet many precious men and women whom I know are given wholly to the Lord. The moment I meet them, my heart leaps. Even though we’ve never met before, I have a witness from the Holy Spirit that they are full of Christ. In greeting them, I always say the one thing I would want others to say of me: “Brother, sister, I see Jesus in you.”

Christ-likeness has to do with how I treat those outside my family, loving others as he loves us. It also means loving our enemies, those who hate us, who spitefully use us, who aren’t capable of loving us. We’re to do this expecting nothing in return.

Loving this way is impossible in human terms. There aren’t any how-to books, any sets of principles or any amount of human intelligence to show us how to love our enemies as Christ loved us. Nevertheless, we are commanded to do it, and we are to do it with an ever-increasing purpose. So, how do we accomplish this? How do I love the Muslim man who spit in my face a block from our church? How do I love the people who run websites calling me a false prophet? How do I love homosexuals who parade down Fifth Avenue carrying signs declaring, “Jesus Was Gay”?

I don’t even know how to love other Christians in my own ability. How do I truly love those who actively come against me?

It has to be the work of the Holy Spirit. Jesus prayed to the Father, “I have declared to them your name, and will declare it, that the love with which you loved me may be in them, and I in them” (John 17:26, NKJV). Christ asks the Father to put his love in us. He promises that the Holy Spirit will show us how to live out that love.

The Holy Ghost will faithfully gather up all the ways Christ loved others and show it to you (see John 16:15). Indeed, the Spirit delights in showing us more of Jesus. It’s the reason he dwells in our bodily temples, to teach Christ to us. “The Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all things that I said to you” (John 14:25-26).